The Aims Behind The A.M. Reads Newsletter
The aims behind my reading recommendation newsletter…
The aims behind my reading recommendation newsletter; The A.M. Reads Newsletter, are multifold.
They are the following:
1. To create a jump off point for you; for when you don’t know what you want to read.
2. To foster a community of readers that are involved in bettering themselves through reading, and through having conversations about the books we focus on.
3. To better remember & understand the books I have come across.
4. To more effectively use what I read in an active way.
I am in this for the long term, I see myself being involved in the great conversation for the rest of my life.
Notes:
1. Learn more about other quotes & books here:
The 6 Rewards of Reading
Of course, the rewards of reading extend far past 6 possibilities…
Of course, the rewards of reading extend far past 6 possibilities, but these are the specific rewards that I believe stand out amongst the rest. Besides, if I was to flesh every single one out here and now I wouldn’t possibly have time for anything else. There have been a great many ways in which reading has helped people with their lives. I have lost count how many times reading one book or another has helped me connect with others, advance my life, or simply prevent me from making an ignorant decision. If approached in the right manner, reading can enhance your discipline, knowledge, wisdom, empathy, improve your communication skills, and help you maintain your mental health.
Discipline
Even though I was born into the Internet age, the boom was too early for me to be sucked into the social media blackhole where your attention span goes to die. This, in combination with my mother teaching me to read English and learn to love it gave me the space necessary to hone my focus on one task at a time. To be able to sit for hours on end and just read, eventually not worrying about when this chapter ends, and when does the next one begin? This uninterrupted flow of consciousness was the beginning of my discipline’s development. I firmly believe that that focused reading at the end of each day contributed to me becoming a disciplined and organized individual. Discipline equals freedom, as veteran Navy Seal Jocko Willink expresses in his book, and constantly espouses on his podcast. Reading is one of the major tools that has allowed me to start to build the life I want for myself, to form my own personal freedom.
Knowledge
I started to quickly understand as a young teen that my knowledge of certain topics (i.e. history) had gradually, but greatly added up compared to my peers. It is impossible for a modern school system to teach its students everything (and an even harder task when its main purpose is not to teach young people how to learn and think critically, but to follow orders – however that’s a topic for another essay). Having accumulated this extraneous knowledge over the course of many years I inadvertently opened several doors for myself, because I had the power to act on information that others did not know.
Wisdom
When you open up a book you agree with the author to take you on an adventure. It is not your choice, when the story picks up, when choices are made or discarded, or when it finally ends. However, this gives you the opportunity of living more lives than just your own. It compresses the wisdom of many men and women who have lived harder, more dangerous, or fill in the ____, lives compared to us. This lets us learn from their follies and successes, and therefore act accordingly.
Empathy
Before children reach a certain age, it is hard for them to understand that other people have diverging thoughts from themselves. This is part of the concept of Theory of Mind in psychology. Our perceptions do become more malleable with age, but this malleability may only be maintained if one does not stay stagnant with one’s thoughts. Books can be some of the first experiences that a child can use to understand that their lives are not separated from others, that people are interconnected with each other. Reading gives them the initial opportunity to understand that people live in a variety of ways, whether through one’s volition or not, and that they lived differently in past ages. However, with time, they will also realize that even though people are different, they are still all very much the same. This is the beginning of empathy. Given our habit of putting ourselves into the protagonist’s shoes (and try our best to fill in the villain’s too) we can easily understand the trials and tribulations that they must endure throughout their story. This translates to feeling empathy for people in the real world as well.
Comprehension & Communication Skills
Perhaps the most obvious benefit of my reading experience has been my reading comprehension, writing and other communication skills. Over a period of countless books, I developed the muscle in my brain needed to pick up on the most important information in a text and make connections between the concepts. Apart from allowing me to read quickly, this has been an important skill for research work as well as my university studies where I must separate the wheat from the chaff quickly and efficiently to succeed. Reading has been shown to help people expand their vocabularies, and I have no doubt that doing so has helped me with my vocabulary in Russian, French, and English. Consequently, it has also allowed me to express myself more clearly through the written and spoken word. Just like a chess master needs to see thousands upon thousands of different chess positions in multiple manners, a writer must understand the profession she decided to lead by reading as much as she can. And if you are not a writer this still applies to you, you still need to communicate with those around you to survive and communicate exceptionally well to thrive.
Mental Health
Lastly, but maybe most importantly, reading has helped me stay sane. Engaging with a book is still a great pleasure of mine after all these years, and it is a comfort during difficult times. It works as a sort of meditation once I take the time to sit down and delve deep enough; I’m immersed in the story and am not thinking about my own troubles. It allows me to turn off my mind from the constant conversation that seems to pervade my thoughts, yet still be lucid, and conscious. If this is done in the evening or early morning this effect is even more potent – these are periods when one can focus, when one is not distracted by worldly responsibilities or other people. In addition to all this, a good book offers a respite from screens and sounds, the only movie playing is the one you’re immersed in, the one you create in your mind with the author’s guidance. In a time when most people are occupied by their phones it is ever more important to start the shut off process leading up to proper sleep. Screen time, and other triggers that delay melatonin release delay this sleep. Therefore, books can be used to better one’s sleep hygiene, in turn leading to better sleep and more stable mental health.
Conclusion
I’m not here to convince you to read. Read because you truly want to read, in an intrinsic fashion. Or start to read and continue to read until you begin to feel that way. That way it won’t be a chore anymore, and the side benefits that I outline here will begin to accrue before you even know it.
Take reading seriously, and it will treat you in kind.
Notes:
1. Learn more about other quotes & books here:
How I Fell in Love with Reading
Learning and consequently growing a yearning to read has been one of the most, if not the most impactful moments of my life….
George Herbert and His Mother by Charles West Cope (1811-1890)
Learning and consequently growing a yearning to read has been one of the most, if not the most impactful moments of my life. It has aided me in innumerable situations, from my own work to getting along with others. Even though books may have at times taken me through the trenches of people’s lives, and the sorrow & suffering that resides there, I have found great joy in reading, and lasting peace with the wisdom that I had the luck to come across.
I am forever indebted to my mother for having the patience to instill a love of reading in me across three languages. I remember bits and pieces of hating the procedure of sitting down and learning to read English, but she understood the need and endured what must have been a slow and torturous process. For it is most children’s natural inclination to choose the easy way out and not to have to suffer hardship, for whatever the cause. But I suppose that a parent’s responsibility is to push and support their children past these comfort zones. It’s a responsibility not to be taken lightly, and if ignored will be payed for dearly. The consequences of choosing to sit your child in front of a T.V. set for hours on end or letting them dig their nose into a phone is already being felt now, past many people’s childhoods. However, to have the discipline not to choose the easy way out and neglect a child’s mental development is hard, and hard to do on a consistent basis with conflicting schedules.
Another reason I fell in love with reading was because I saw my sister enjoying it. Being 6 years older than me she got hold of books sooner and would quickly read through them one after another. Looking up to her I couldn’t help but want to know what happened in those same stories. I have no doubt that that process helped develop her quick wit, excellent communication skills, and persuasive writing.
My earliest memories of books include Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson, and Robinson Crusoe by Daniel Defoe. They are truly fond memories and remind me of the many nights where my parents had to plead with me to put the books down and go to sleep. But what are dreams, compared to the stories I had the chance to live in?
Soon thereafter I was given predominantly non-fiction books, mostly histories. Many came from my public school’s Scholastics system; where I was able to learn more about people from antiquity, about their different ways of living, and how their wars were fought. Over many summers I would walk with my mom over to the local Toronto Public Library and participate in their summer book club for children. I would receive a themed poster and then fill up it’s gaps with stickers I received by reporting on each book I read. It was one of the greatest experiences I had as a boy and shared with my mother.
That’s the beautiful thing about reading, and it’s a story that many other bookworms share. Many great things in my life would not have happened if I didn’t read. That’s what I love about it, if you do it only good things will come from it, but if you don’t you may just lose out on an amazing opportunity.
If you have always read from a young age, then you already understand where I’m coming from. If you read when you were young and lost the habit as school stretched farther and farther away in your rear-view mirror, then pick up a book again, and I promise you you’ll enjoy it more than when you were forced to read it in English class. If reading never attracted your interest then I’ll ask you to try it out, to give it a chance. By reading these stories and finding out more about the world, you’ll soon realize that you’re also finding out more about yourself in the process.
Fall in love with reading, and that love will never fade.
Notes:
1. Learn more about other quotes & books here:
Metamorphosis
Happy New Year! I hope y’all have enjoyed the holiday season…
Metamorphosis II by Vladimir Kush
Happy New Year! I hope y’all have enjoyed the holiday season and have been able to spend time with your loved ones.
I visited London, England over the holidays for the second time (you can read about my first time here), and came back from the experience in good spirits, after enough spirits, events, family, and sights seen. My gratitude to my Sister is beyond words; she truly is the best hostess. Here are some photos from the trip. [1]
The New Year will be bringing in some new changes to this website, and leaving out some old ones. Firstly, I will stop posting quote compilations every month, as I have been doing for over three years now. I will continue doing so in a private capacity, as there are still a lot of essential benefits I gain from it.
In order not to lose these benefits for you, the reader, I will be reformulating the format in which I talk about these books into a newsletter. Instead of posting singular quotes from seemingly unconnected books I will be focusing on a few books in a similar field each month, and give a more in depth review for each one, each time.
More details will follow soon; the project is still in its initial stages. You will be able to receive these book reviews through an email newsletter. The link will show up on another post once the project is setup.
Notes:
1. Within the range of December 2017 - January 2018.
2. Learn more about my first trip to London, England.
3. Read more about other quotes & books here:
Halloween Quote Special - “Guillermo del Toro: At Home With Monsters” At AGO
A couple of weekends ago I had the opportunity to visit Guillermo del Toro’s recent exhibition at AGO…
A couple of weekends ago I had the opportunity to visit Guillermo del Toro’s recent exhibition at AGO called At Home With Monsters. It gave the audience a view into his creative haven, an abode called Bleak House. Here are some quotes from the world-renowned director, which were imprinted within the walls of the exhibit:
On Childhood:
“For me, childhood is the forge of the soul. I think that everything that is wrong with us and everything that is right with us is cemented in our first seven or eight years of life.”
On Disney:
“Walt Disney, to me, is one of the great storytellers of childhood tales. He has a lot of darkness in him.”
On Victorian Culture:
“I am obsessed with Victorian culture. I have a room of my library at home called ‘The Dickens Room.’ It has every work by Dickens, Wilkie Collins and many other Victorian novelists, plus hundreds of works about Victorian London and its customs, etiquette, architecture.”
On Insects:
“Insects are living metaphors for me. They are so alien and so remote and so perfect, but also they are emotionless, they don’t have any human or mammalian instincts. They’ll eat their young at the drop of a hat… There’s no empathy.”
On Rain:
“As a kid I dreamed of having a house with secret passages and a room where it rained 24 hours a day…”
On Death:
“There is something moving about death and decay. But for the Western world, death is a negative. And to me it isn’t! It’s actually the very essence of life.”
On Art:
“I find that most art is alchemy. Certainly, film is alchemy. You are creating something transcendental and pure and beautiful out of a lot of vile matter, which is what alchemists did. They took common metals, like lead, and elevated them into a metal that they thought sublime, eternal: gold.”
On Eccentricity:
“I felt at the age of seven or eight, or even earlier, that I didn’t really belong with the other kids that perfectly. I felt like an outsider. The horror genre seemed to show me other outcasts I could sympathize with.”
On Humanity:
“I think what is beautiful about humanity is that we have an absolute polychrome set of choices. We can choose to be heroes or villains every day.”
On Influences:
“I am influenced by literature as much as I am by comics, and by fine art as much as I am by the so-called low-brow… I try to present myself as I am, without apologies and with absolute passion and sincerity.”
On Frankenstein:
“Frankenstein, to me, is instrumental in the way I see the world… It is the essential narrative of the fall of man into an imperfect world by an uncaring creator.”
On Normality:
“I don’t really care much for the idea of ‘normal’ – that’s very abstract to me. I think that perfection is practically unattainable but imperfection is right at hand. So that’s why I love monsters: because they represent a side of us that we should actually embrace and celebrate.”
I was pulled into the exhibition with the promise of the macabre transformed into art, and left with the pleasure of also coming to a better understanding of del Toro’s process, and the inspiration behind his own work. If you have the opportunity to do so I highly suggest checking out the exhibition – it runs until January 7th, 2018.
Notes:
1. Read more about other quotes & books here:
Moments Pt. 4
My successes may excite me, my failures may trip me up, even later motivate me, but what screws with my mind the most is…
My successes may excite me, my failures may trip me up, even later motivate me, but what screws with my mind the most is the consequences of each result, of what happens afterwards. If I didn’t succeed at this I wouldn’t have met you, or I wouldn’t have found this or that opportunity if I hadn’t failed at this one. It makes me question my own beliefs about why things transpire the way they do. Not to take away from responsibility… I’ve always been a big believer and practitioner of taking responsibility for your actions – in some cases to an extreme, where the situation was literally out of my hands. ‘Cause I rather relay it to myself than play a victim, become powerless, and have a powerless mindset. But a compilation of strange moments has diversified my thinking.
I don’t believe in coincidences… I think that what we perceive as ‘coincidences’ are called coincidences because we’re too small to see the bigger picture, the machinations of the universe. It’s like trying to explain a smart phone to an ant. Everything is connected. Every time I experience something that seems to illustrate this it doesn’t cease to surprise me. It surprises me how one thing can affect everything else down the road, like dominoes, like butterflies. How everything you touch is not in your hands, how everything that you know, that you don’t know, that you don’t know that you don’t know, are not necessarily within your reach. This may seem obvious, especially the latter, but I guess it always bothered my sense of being able to fully control the process of my life. Does this leave space for fate? The absence of will, is it simply a mirage? Or is it an ever interchanging weave of personal sovereignty and the world that surrounds you? I think of it like a tree, at first it is just seed, it has certain genetics and therefore certain predispositions to specific environments. As it grows taller and taller it branches out, and as time goes on it becomes harder and harder to go back and grow new branches from the trunk instead of sticking with the older ones. Similarly our fate lies in our genetics and the environment we’re tossed into. The ability to change your fate lies in your hands, the actions you choose, the people you choose to surround yourself with, and the environment that you strive towards. Essentially, your fate lies in your reactions to what life gifts you, to what life throws at you. As time moves forward it becomes harder to change these aspects and therefore your fate.
I am constantly fascinated by the smallest actions. How they may snowball into such huge consequences, unforeseen results, for good or bad (or is the good and bad of the results for us to decide?). I realize that I am leaving you, the reader, with many questions to think about, and not many concrete answers to satisfy your curiosity. It can be perceived as frustrating, and philosophical questions mostly are - but I guess I just revel in it, in how the world can be so chaotic, yet ordered at the same time. The only conciliation I have is having the strength to be able to focus on what I can change, the patience to deal with what I can’t, and the wisdom to know the difference between the two.
“O Captain! my Captain! our fearful trip is done…”
Leadership Portfolio Assignment Entry 2: Team Work & Initiative
The CN tower was…
"Perched 440 meters above Toronto and 9 meters out from the growing CN Tower iron worker Larry Porter pulls at the hook of giant crane as he installs the outriggers that will be used to lift the restaurant."
- Toronto Star
The CN tower was not built in one day and was not the result of one person’s labour. Indeed, the spark that Canadian National Railway lit in 1968, that initial first step of thinking of such a tower, was the necessary fuel for so many project team members to see to its realization. With the foundation already laid, the team needed more than communication to continue adding pieces to the puzzle.
I had previously left off the last segment of this two part series, for my “BC 3010 – Advanced Peer Leadership” class, with a commentary about how I came to hone my communication and interpersonal skills through a variety of peer leadership experiences. These skills better allowed me to continue to develop another two areas of competency even further – an ability to work in a team, and the initiative needed to keep the team growing in a positive direction. This essay will continue with the goal of describing the development of my skills, in this case the aforementioned ones, through a description of peer leadership experiences I have not only had at York University but also in summer camp. As always, by describing my own process of growth through writing I will learn more about what can help me become all that I can be, and act on that information. I hope that it also makes you realize how you can leverage your strengths to mould the future you desire for yourself.
Ability to Work in a Team
Evidence of Mr. Porter’s ability to work in a team, in the picture above - that frames the essence of this essay, was surely an essential part of seeing the tower that dominates today’s Toronto skyline to its completion. The ability to work in a team is no less important in the following examples I had the pleasure to work on, albeit they are a little smaller in size. Nonetheless, the same principle prevails – many working together in a coordinated fashion can quickly outpace a few, or a larger number that are not able to get along.
My ability to work with a team became quickly sharpened when I jumped into helping many organizations grow in innovative directions in my first year at York. One of those organizations was the Canadian Immunology Research Association (CIRA):
Runway for Research
As a media coverage coordinator for CIRA in the second half of the 2013-2014 academic year I had the responsibility of:
1. Coordinating the coverage of CIRA related events and activities.
2. Aiding in external communication to create creative opportunities for CIRA's events.
By jumping at this opportunity I strengthened the communication and time management skills I needed to have to work in a team in order to put a project together properly and on time. One such project was a fashion show geared toward bringing together an audience to raise awareness of the growing importance of immunology research and subsequently raise money for it.
Another opportunity to better my ability at working with a group was at York with a part of the Student Ombuds Services team. As shown by the snippet below we were making a video designed to educate York students about some of the many services SOS provides.
I really enjoyed this project because I have always been interested in photography, videography, and the editing involved to create a finished product but most of all the process was made enjoyable by the people I was able to work with. By being able to clearly define a shared vision and coordinate tasks with each other it became a smooth process. Since the project was a creative one it was important to be able to negotiate compromises but also believe in your ideas and stand up for them when you thought the project would benefit from them (and not your ego). Understanding this balance and being able to wield it definitely has transcended to other activities I have engaged in with groups of people, making me a better leader.
I have been able to apply these past ideas, strengthening the skills needed to properly work within a team and lead one, and wielding a balance, outside of York University. What better example to give than where one lives with his fellow team members for extensive periods of time – summer camp!
Ruskoka Camp Counselors, Session 1, Summer 2013
Ruskoka Camp Counselors, Session 2, Summer 2013
I first came to Ruskoka Camp at the age of 10, excited and nervous to engage in an experience I had not yet been able to try out. I had been at a couple other summer camps before, but this one was different. Before I knew it I had invested 10 summers into it - growing up as a camper over some of them, becoming a team leader, and eventually a counsellor. As a camper I learned to work with a team of 6-8 boys, in some years lead a similar amount through various camp activities as a team leader, and finally look after 80+ children with a team of other counsellors. As counsellors we learned to lean on each other’s strengths, and look out after one another to make sure that we were all able to give the children the best camp experience they could have. The stakes were higher, we were now not just looking after ourselves, but after those that were most cherished by the parents that entrusted them to us – our ability to work in a team consequently adjusted to be able to carry out such a challenge.
Initiative
Bridge Jumping, Muskoka, 21 August 2015
Leaning on each other as counsellors made us learn to take initiative when others passed the torch, and we did so boldly. Sometimes as a counsellor you don’t have time to think, to analyze each and every situation, you must simply have faith to take a leap into the unknown - leading those around you to new truths.
Part of this initiative on my part was taking an active role in a leadership workshop before camp started in 2015, in the form of a presentation. The presentation was about mental health, and more specifically on stress, anxiety, and depression – aspects that may have definitely been encountered with campers, especially new ones that were more prone to becoming homesick. I wanted to be able to communicate how to manage the emotions behind these mental aspects and firstly how to notice them in a person. Of course these aspects of mental health are fairly well known amongst our society in North America, but not necessarily how to act when one is experiencing them or seeing others experience stress, anxiety, or depression. During camp I also took the initiative to mentor some team leaders about how they may better manage their teams, where having my experience with psychology definitely helped.
Another organization that I did work for at York during my first academic year was the Canadian Association for Regenerative Medicine (CARRM) where I was a media relations committee member. As shown by the following video:
I was instrumental in the creative marketing process where I produced photos/videos for various events for the organization. I also contributed to their social media presence by creating a LinkedIn page, which has subsequently grown and accrued group members from across the globe seeking/already working in the regenerative field. This experience taught me the potential power that is available to creators by the combination of traditional media forms with social media.
Lastly, my experience with SOS as a Class Representative has given me a wealth of opportunity for demonstrating initiative. I helped the organization, as I did with CARRM, to initiate the growth of their LinkedIn page and consequently broaden their reach. In addition to this, as shown by the starting slide below, I had created a presentation for future CR’s, in the summer of 2014, on how to best create and run a study session for their students.
This simple act of creating an idea from scratch greatly increased my ability to create presentations, and present them in front of an audience as well. It gave me more passion for public speaking, and definitely built the groundwork for the presentation I did at camp even though the topics were completely unrelated.
What holds people back from initiating their own projects, or working on what they love, and instead settling for something ‘easier’? Fear. But holding back because of fear, because of the fear of failure and the pain associated with it isn’t going to make life easier. In fact it’s only going to achieve in making your existence harder – because regret cuts deeper, and is only felt much later. Nihil Timendum Est.
Conclusion
In essence, my ability to work with a team, and the initiative I take with various organizations has helped me succeed in helping grow these same organizations. I am grateful for the fact that I was able to practice these skills with them, in organizations that are forgiving and understanding of a student’s journey and learning process. As stated by John. N Gardner in Students Helping Students, “students must first know themselves before they can fulfill their potential to help others… comparably, [Erich] Fromm argued influentially that before any person can ‘love’ another, she or he must first have attained sufficient self-esteem to have developed the capacity for self-love and respect.” I believe this also applies to a student’s ability to work in a team and take initiative. Before they can work in a team effectively they should know how to complete tasks effectively on their own. On the same note initiative starts with discipline - if the student can have control over their own actions and steer themselves in the right direction, then they are a step away from taking initiative for the group, the community, the country, and the world around them.
Notes:
1. Read the first part to this two part series.
References
Newton, F. B., & Ender, S. C. (2010). Students helping students: A guide for peer educators on college campuses 2nd ed. San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass.
Leadership Portfolio Assignment Entry 1: Communication & Interpersonal Skills
When one is creating a structure, any structure, one must plan for its foundation…
CN Tower under construction, just prior to the addition of the pod, in 1974
When one is creating a structure, any structure, one must plan for its foundation. Without it the structure will collapse. The problem is that foundation is not attractive, half of it’s underground and it still does not communicate the height of your project to the layperson. This concept directly translates to your success in the workforce, in the field you choose to define your life with. Few, if any, will see or hear about the work you put in at the beginning of your journey to develop employment ready skills. However, the skills needed to reach the level of success you desire will be clearly defined to others once you reach that level. You will look back and see how high your building has grown, thanks to the foundation you invested in so many years ago. This is the first entry in a two part series for my “BC 3010 – Advanced Peer Leadership” class where I will be talking about areas of competency, and the experiences that helped build them. This essay will endeavour to outline the development of my communication and interpersonal skills (so far) through a description of a selection of peer leadership experiences I have had at York University. As an additional goal, this assignment will help me reflect on my own development, and make my own path for future growth more focused. I hope that it also makes you reflect on your own journey, and the skills you need to build your own architectural masterpieces.
Communication Skills
The development of communication skills, and the efficient use of them in various circumstances are built like any other skills, through practice, failing, adapting, and finally creating a personal feel for them where you are successful at using the skills at a moment’s notice. The practice needed for this level of efficiency doesn’t discriminate forms, whether you’re writing or speaking, the more you engage in it - the better you become at it.
Speech
Speech has permeated throughout my whole life but it definitely was a large part of my experience as a Student Health Ambassador at York (SHAY) for the Psychology program since my responsibilities entailed me to constantly talk to prospective university students.
My speech skills got sharpened as a result of being a SHAY because the organization gave me the opportunity too:
1. Effectively communicate information in a creative, interactive, positive, and genuine way suitable to the specific audience, while staying true to the identity of York University/Faculty of Health and the message of the Recruitment Office.
2. Respond to any questions/concerns students and parents may have had about York University and Faculty of Health programs, and direct them to the appropriate person for more information.
3. Explain to visitors why York University is such a great place to be a student.
In addition to my SHAY experience I was a Class Representative (CR) for 4 university science courses in my first academic year at York (2013/2014) where I spoke to thousands of students in the form of small presentations and more personally on an individual level.
Both of these volunteer positions enabled me to work in environments where I was able to experiment and find out which communication method and technique works best in each situation. These in-field experiments over the course of 2 years gave me the confidence and passion to want to speak in front of any type of crowd, non-dependant on demographic, and large or small. I am very grateful for what these experiences have been able to give me, and how they continue to help me in my present endeavours.
Written
It is said that one of the best ways to get better at an activity is to teach others how to excel at it. I believe this is the case because firstly, by repeating and clearly communicating the information to another person you further ingrain it in your mind. Secondly, it will force you to step out of your comfort zone by making you want to know more than is required because you want to provide the best possible training for your peer. Being a Peer Writing Mentor (PWM) for Write to Succeed in the 2014/2015 academic year at York University made me realize this.
Write to Succeed peer writing mentor training day in August of 2014
When I first started to volunteer as Peer Writing Mentor (PWM) I was still in the dark about writing resources on campus, writing techniques, and editing procedures - all the building blocks of successful writing. All I had was a passion for writing, and the need to learn more in order to improve. This need was realized because of the pressure I felt to provide better writing services for my university peers, whose precious time I did not want to waste with mediocre service.
As a PWM the main way I assisted fellow students with their writing assignments was by identifying the problem(s) they had and coming up with solutions that students could implement, through analyzing their; grammar and sentence structures, essay structures, referencing/citation (i.e. MLA, APA, Chicago), thesis and arguments/outlines, and past marked assignments. One of the main things I constantly told students that came to my drop-in sessions was to keep a firm structure to their essays, or other forms of writing, so as not to lose sight of the message they were trying to convey to the reader. All the concepts I advised students on, ranging from essay structure to referencing, I subconsciously and actively started to be more vigilant in as well.
As a result of the time and effort I put into advising, writing, and most importantly rewriting, I became significantly better at written communication, whether it was in the form of an email, topical essay, or data driven research paper.
Interpersonal Skills
Interpersonal skills for me have always been defined around being able to put myself into the shoes of those I am communicating with, no matter how much I disagree with their viewpoints at that time. By understanding where someone is coming from, physically (i.e. a neighbourhood, or in the larger context - a country) and psychologically (i.e. what culture dominates their perspective), and understanding the trials and tribulations that they themselves, their families, and ancestors had to go through for them to be where they are at that moment makes communication between individuals and groups far more effective. If you haven't already noticed, empathy is at the centre of this discussion.
Cross Cultural/Diverse
Having been a CR in 1st year science courses, and having had recent exposure to 3rd year psychology courses as a CR this past semester (Fall 2015), I have come across a wide range of students, each with their own unique personalities and backgrounds. As a CR I served as a liaison between the course instructor and other students in the course, providing general feedback and bringing any concerns that arose to the attention of the instructor. I enabled students to voice course-related concerns, promoted professors’ awareness of undue challenges facing students for remedial action, and facilitated study group formation.
From Academic Orientation at York University, September 2014
Spring Open House at York University, 2014
I would not have been able to commit to the above mentioned responsibilities as a CR if I didn't have the ability to interpersonally relate to the varying people that surrounded me on a day to day basis in my classes, laboratories, tutorials, study sessions, and events. Of course these experiences further strengthened my interpersonal skills, and the ability to effectively communicate with a diverse set of people. By following through with the incremental steps for helpful interpersonal communication I was able to make the most of these interactions with students, professors, and other university staff (Newton & Ender, 2010, p. 106). In order to continue to be effective interpersonally I must be culturally fluent by staying humble, asking good questions that promote understanding, listening with the intent to learn, and constructively responding to differences (Newton & Ender, 2010, p. 90).
Conclusion
Cross-cultural interpersonal skills go hand in hand with speech and written communication skills. Interpersonal skills are not able to be demonstrated without communication and speech/written communication will always be layered with an interpersonal component since communication entails an interaction between 2 or more individuals. In essence, thanks to the past experiences I have detailed in this essay I have learned how to effectively communicate through the spoken and written word, and do so with interpersonal finesse. Fortunately these foundational skills are not stuck in the ground as my construction analogy may have made you believe at the outset of this essay, but may always be improved upon and do not stay stagnant. Which means that our buildings can grow higher than the ones you and I see everyday.
Two other skills that also form the foundation for my aspirations, and the experiences that surround them, will be detailed in the next entry. This list of skills, in combination with the next list is not exhaustive but definitely constitute the major components of successful enterprise.
Notes:
1. Read the second part to this two part series.
References
Newton, F. B., & Ender, S. C. (2010). Students helping students: A guide for peer educators on college campuses 2nd ed. San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass.
Blood, Sweat, Tears, Two Years
Last year, when I started this website…
Mt. Sinai Peak, Egypt, Summer 2011, Approximately 6:00am
Round 2
Last year, when I started this website, I talked about my experiences in first year university in an essay named “Blood, Sweat, Tears, One Year”. This time I wish to detail the strategies that helped me see my second year to its end.
A changed environment at home, coupled with summer burnout led to a rocky start of the 2014-2015 academic year. In any case I was determined to see the year through successfully and enjoy the journey along the way. I had discontinued several extracurriculars over the summer that I wasn’t passionate about, and undertaken a couple of new ones for the year. Both of them helped me immensely in the realms of writing & public speaking. My courses became more interesting [1] and reaffirmed the decision I felt as though I made so long ago, as high school was winding down, to choose psychology as my major. Courses like ‘PSYC 2110 – Developmental Psychology’, and ‘PSYC 2210 – Learning’ convinced me that I was still passionate about working with children, where I could help them grow & develop as individuals. I continued to box and do Muay Thai throughout the year and even experimented with Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.
However, overshadowing all this growth was a detrimental state of mind. A feeling of depression and its close ally, anxiety, was always close by. It was as if they resided in my shadow, and came back to me when the sun set, when the lights turned off, when my mind wasn’t occupied; causing many sleepless nights. If I was lucky enough I could bob my head above water for a couple days, maybe a week before those thoughts crept back in. It felt as though I was controlled by circumstance, instead of rolling with the punches. Unfortunately the stigma associated with mental health makes people wary about airing out how they truly feel to the world. And with good reason. How our peers perceive us is of great importance and affects many aspects of our lives. We go day to day asking each other “how are you” as if it’s an automatic response. Any delineation from answering with “fine” or “good” makes us seem like we flew over the cuckoo’s nest with Nicholson. As if we are wasting your time. If more people talked about mental health, and their experience with it, the stigma towards it would decrease and people would function more effectively.
This is a story about how I was able to manage depression and anxiety in my life after my second year of university, and continue to keep those monkeys off my back. [2]
One Day at a Time
Lao Tzu once said that if you are depressed you are looking to the past, if you are anxious you are looking to the future, and if you are at peace then you are focused on the present. I started to apply this wisdom by taking life one day at a time. Dale Carnegie called this approach “time-packets”. By focusing on the list of things I had to do that day I didn’t have time to think about the past or the future – I was intimately engaged with the present, and consequently stayed productive. Each day suddenly became brighter, because I was enjoying what I had on my plate instead of thinking of what I should of ate or was going to eat. Now that I look back I realize that I have compiled hundreds of these days, these “time-packets”. As if each day was the only day.
“I’m just trying to stay above water y’know. Just stay busy, stay working. Puff told me like... The key to this joint, the key to staying on top of things is treat everything like it’s your first project, know what I’m sayin’. Like it’s your first day, like back when you was an intern. Like, that’s how you try to treat things like, just stay hungry.”
That’s the first way I tricked my mind out of depressed and anxious thoughts. A certain amount of planning and preparation is required to sustain this, for the next day, for events, etcetera… but in the bigger picture these aspects of readiness become the frame upon which your days hang.
Demand More of Yourself (Step Out of Your Comfort Zone)
How many times have you thought to yourself that you are not deserving of some achievement or that you can’t succeed in a certain endeavour? Too many times to count, right? Unfortunately this is written into our culture – we are stifled by our parents, teachers, *insert authority figure here*, and even our very own peer group, if we aren’t careful. These negative voices act as catalysts for our own fear, for our deepest fear.
“What holds us back in our lives is our fear, and sometimes when you take a very close look you find out that your fears aren’t exactly what you thought they were. Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. So its holy work to move past your own fear, it doesn’t just help you - it helps the world.”
As we move through our life we tend to encounter two types of people: those that inspire us to action and others that depress us, and our goals. What is inspiration? Physically it is the process of the drawing in of breath, of your chest expanding, shoulders rolling, standing tall. Mentally we feel the same way when we are inspired – we stand tall and face the music. Now when we take a look at depression – we see something get pressed downward, lowered. That’s why you feel stuck in a rut when you are depressed; you feel hopeless to change your situation. It’s interesting to think about how much language affects the way we perceive our environment.
“Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.”
At the risk of sounding cliché that is what it comes down too – the beliefs you hold onto. If you wake up everyday saying that you can’t do something then it won’t happen. Your thoughts become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Your brain understands thoughts of depression and anxiety in much the same way. Your subconscious mind readily laps that up and continues to apply those thoughts through you unless you willingly change your mindset.
“Remember, no more effort is required to aim high in life, to demand abundance and prosperity, than is required to accept misery and poverty. A great poet has correctly stated this universal truth through these lines:”
“I bargained with Life for a penny
And Life would pay no more,
However I begged at evening
When I counter my scanty store.
For Life is a just employer,
He gives you what you ask,
But once you have set the wages,
Why, you must bear the task.
I worked for a menial’s hire,
Only to learn, dismayed,
That any wage I had asked of Life,
Life would have willingly paid.”
— Napoleon Hill, Think and Grow Rich
Demand more of yourself, more out of life… go after it, and you WILL receive it. Don’t be afraid to reach farther.
Stay Patient, Embrace the Grind
You will not be able to lift a veil of negative energy overnight… like any worthwhile endeavour this will take time, and with it – patience. Promise to yourself that you will get out of bed every morning to work on moving on from those shadows. Keeping in mind to move one day at a time, you will soon arrive at a point – a month, 6 months, or a year from now, where you wake up feeling as though you’re out of the woods and you can finally see the sun. This is an unforgiving time, and every minute of every day you will feel a pull toward depression, or a pull toward anxiety in the next moment. As ironic as it sounds you will want to retreat to your rut. Fight the feeling. You will feel it because it is easier to do so than try to grow, to become the best version of YOU. When those thoughts come to mind remember this prayer:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference. [3]
Remember that thought is one of the only aspects of your life that you can completely control and can therefore change. Manage that and you will manage your situation for the better…
Saved By the Bell
The academic year wasn’t ending fast enough, and the strike wasn’t helping the situation - it had become a long winter. Luckily summer came just at the right time for me to recharge.
Over the summer of 2015 I had continued working in clinical research as well as more specific patient care with an independent clinic. I had also went back to camp as a camp counsellor (missed the previous year due to summer classes and other work related responsibilities – which I inevitably regretted) and truly enjoyed connecting with old friends and working with kids in an effort to aid their personal growth.
Now that third year is starting I’m taking a lot more interesting courses, delving deeper into research, exercising my mind and my body through books and boxing, regaining connections with old friends/maintaining new ones, and doing what I need to do to get to where I want to be.
If you believe that symptoms of anxiety/depression apply to you remember to take life one day at a time, to demand more of yourself (and do it), and to embrace the grind that is required of you, and your dreams. These concepts helped me, and I hope their application helps you.
Keep your chin up, keep moving.
Notes:
1. Psychology students at YorkU may only take one psychology course in first year (PSYC 1010 - Intro to Psychology), and then with each year we can take more and more specific psychology courses (abnormal psychology, personality, psycholinguistics, etc.).
2. Please note that my way of dealing with these problems may differ greatly from other people and trusted psychological/psychiatric methods. I may not even have had a full-fledged version of anxiety or depression; I may have simply been overly nervous/sad at certain points during the previous year. I will be detailing the differences between those aspects in future essays. The reason I use the terms depression and anxiety to describe my own experiences is because they are aspects that are well recognized but not talked about enough in the community. I am not a certified psychologist nor have I completed medical school and become a psychiatrist so I strongly suggest you see a professional if you feel as though depression and/or anxiety applies to you. If you’re a university student your university should have a counselling service specifically tailored for you. York University also has a counselling service (CDS) for students.
3. You don’t need to be religious in a traditional sense for this prayer to work for you. It works like any form of meditation by calming your mind and helping you understand what to do next.
Moments Pt. 3
One evening…
One evening, a couple of weeks before my 20th birthday, I was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling not able to fall asleep – contemplating thoughts that only seem to sneak into your mind at these times, when you’re not occupied.
“All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.”
Then I thought, shit – I’m almost 20, how many 20’s do I have ‘till this present experience comes to an end. Three… four, at the most? And yet there’s still so much I’d like to do, to discover, to experience. I felt humbled, and motivated to keep moving.
I’ve always felt a high level of responsibility, not only for myself, but for others as well. However, once I turned 20 my shoulders felt heavier from the weight, weight that only I could feel.
My fears have subsequently been translated into inspiration, and action.
Experiencing New Years in New Territory: An Entry From Across the Pond
It was a surreal experience to…
On Westminster Bridge
It was a surreal experience to step out of the plane after an eight-hour flight and see London for the first time. The fact that I hadn’t slept (I can’t sleep on planes) probably exacerbated that feeling. The absence of a break hampered my minds effectiveness in processing that I was in a new country that ran with different customs.
Firstly, the transport system is more complex, yet it still maintains a higher level of efficiency than the TTC. Albeit the cost compared to the TTC is higher, but you pay for what you get. Toronto has a lot to learn.
Although the over ground rail in London has spacious compartments and is considerably comfortable, the underground feels like it was made for hobbits and therefore tends to pack in people more tightly. If you do visit London, I suggest you get an oyster card (basically the equivalent of a metro pass) for however long you’re staying, because it will save you time and money. I had one that lasted me a week and it cost me £58.40. That sounds like a large sum but considering that there are no such things as transfers in London, if you don’t have the card you’ll have to pay every time you enter a new tube line or tram. With the card you just have to swipe it over censors to indicate that you’re entering or leaving a specific service (if you don’t swipe before you enter, it won’t work at the other end, and you’ll be stuck and shit out of luck).
I believe there’s more to do in London than Toronto, but maybe I feel that way because it was just a new experience for me. On the other hand London probably has five times as many attractions as Toronto, especially in the realm of museums and galleries. That fact alone made me consider a move to London in the future. Speaking of attractions, if you do plan on visiting many sites (The Tower of London, Westminster Abbey, Windsor Castle, etc.) I also suggest you buy a London Pass Card to save you time and money (it lets you skip long lines since many sites have cues specifically built for people who are using the cards). It will only save you money if you plan on packing your days with visits, but even if you end up paying more for the card than the separate sites totalled up, you will still be dealing with less hassle, and your experience will go over more smoothly.
The National Gallery
Another surreal moment was seeing Claude Monet’s “The Water-Lily Pond” in The National Gallery (at Trafalgar square) with my own eyes. A masterpiece was right in front of me, and I felt stuck in time just looking at it. I guess it’s the equivalent of being star struck, since, like celebrities, you hear about them all the time, but seeing them for the first time is unreal. You can call it art struck. One of my favourite paintings that I saw throughout the whole stay was ironically at a modern museum called “Tate Modern”. The irony resides in the fact that I usually enjoy art that takes a considerable amount of skill, paintings that look like pictures, sculptures that capture life in movement, not a canvas painted with one colour and given an extensive explanation, to me that sounds like bullshit. The painting was from the field of realism and was created by Meredith Frampton.
Marguerite Kelsey (1928) by George Vernon Meredith Frampton (1894-1984)
It was fun to experience the traditional pub scene, with pubs sometimes only serving beer, a lot of the time not serving any food, and for the most part closing at 11pm. It felt private, with everyone minding their own business, and just trying to enjoy a pint with some friends after a long day. You can feel how the tradition within the pubs was ingrained over many generations; you could sense a different way of living. I would have to say that it was a refreshing experience, but maybe the alcohol just got to me along the way.
Overall I enjoyed experiencing England’s extensive history, its architecture, and entrenched tradition. Age has its worth in this world, at least in the human mind, and London satisfied that need within me, especially when I was forced to contrast it to North America’s relatively youthful existence. Unsurprisingly I felt comfortable in an acutely European atmosphere (note that Brits don’t like to be called Europeans) and all that carries with it.
The only cons I can attribute to London from my brief encounter with the city, are its cost of living, cramped quarters, and an absence of snow in the winter (although I know a lot of people that would be happy with the latter fact, haha). Of course the UK is a smaller country with a bigger population and needs to fit more people per square kilometre into major cities than Canada, so cramped city life is understandable. Notwithstanding, these facts wouldn’t outweigh the experience of living in London for me (think about it, you’d be two hours away from Paris… by train, that’s less than half the time it takes to get to Montreal from Toronto). Europe’s on your doorstep, while the rest of the world is your next move.
I’m genuinely happy with the trip. Even though I knew I wanted to travel extensively all over the world, that feeling definitely skyrocketed after London. The galleries made me want to learn more about art, and especially its history, a field I neglected to learn about earlier. Last but not least the importance of family became more ingrained in my mind with my sister’s move to England in the summer of 2014. I truly missed her and miss her as I’m writing this.
My Sister and I at the Natural History Museum
Consider visiting London, don’t miss an opportunity to travel, and continue to learn while you do so. It’s about the journey.
Morning Motivation
I am a night owl and therefore…
Marcus Aurelius Distributing Bread to the People (1765) by Joseph-Marie Vien (1716-1809)
I am a night owl and therefore tend to have difficulty with getting up early in the morning. This is due to a combination of late nights and inertia. To overcome this challenge and appear in more morning classes I keep one thought in mind. In fact I read it every morning to remind myself of what I need to get done that day to get me closer to the opportunities I want to experience. The thought goes like this:
“At break of day, when you are reluctant to get up, have this thought ready to mind:
‘I am getting up for a man’s work. Do I still then resent it, if I am going out to do what I was born for, the purpose for which I was brought into the world? Or was I created to wrap myself in blankets and keep warm?’
‘But this is more pleasant.’
Were you then born for pleasure – all for feeling, not for action? Can you not see plants, birds, ants, spiders, bees all doing their own work, each helping in their own way to order the world? And then you do not want to do the work of a human being – you do not hurry to the demands of your own nature.
‘But one needs rest too.’
One does indeed: I agree. But nature has set limits to this too, just as it has to eating and drinking, and yet you go beyond these limits, beyond what you need. Not in your actions, though, not any longer: here you stay below your capability.
The point is that you do not love yourself – otherwise you would love both your own nature and her purpose for you. Other men love their own pursuit and absorb themselves in its performance to the exclusion of bath and food: but you have less regard for your own nature than the smith has for metal-work, the dancer for his dancing, the money-grubber for his money, the exhibitionist for his little moment of fame. Yet these people, when impassioned, give up food and sleep for the promotion of their pursuits: and you think social action less important less worthy of effort?”
— Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, Book 5
An absence of motivation to get up in the morning can point to other problems in your life. Following a vocation that doesn’t truly speak to you can lead you to depression and an inclination to stay in bed for longer hours. However, once you truly understand and follow the pursuits that are closest to your heart getting out of bed in the morning will be an easier task to accomplish. It will cease to be the hardest part of your day. If laziness does set in, in the morning, then just look to the wise and realize that they had to overcome the same problem when chasing their dreams. You are not alone; emperors experienced similar battles long before you had to struggle with them. They are conquerable.
24 Important Life Lessons From Don Vito Corleone
The first time I read The Godfather by Mario Puzo I was 13 years old…
The first time I read The Godfather by Mario Puzo I was 13 years old. Reading it again, 6 years later, I realized how profoundly the story had directed me. Surpassing a wide range of literature, The Godfather continues to be the book that has influenced me the most. It was the turning point that helped me define my end goals in life, and the responsibilities I hold as a man. One character in the novel became the example I strove for, and that I continue to strive toward. All I have to do is ask: ‘what would the Don do’?
On Family:
"I didn’t tell you to get married again. Do what you want. It’s good you wish to be a father to your children. A man who is not a father to his children can never be a real man. But then, you must make their mother accept you. Who says you can’t see them every day? Who says you can’t live your life exactly as you want to live it?"
On Friends:
"Friendship is everything. Friendship is more than talent. It is more than government. It is almost equal of family. Never forget that. If you had built up a wall of friendships you wouldn’t have to ask me to help."
On Humility:
Don Corleone himself was not angry. He had long ago learned that society imposes insults that must be borne, comforted by the knowledge that in this world there comes a time when the most humble of men, if he keeps his eyes open, can take his revenge on the most powerful. It was this knowledge that prevented the Don from losing the humility all his friends admired in him.
On Duty:
He made no empty promises, nor the craven excuse that his hands were tied by more powerful forces in the world than himself.
On Business:
“Tom, don’t let anybody kid you. It’s all personal, every bit of business. Every piece of shit every man has to eat everyday of his life is personal. They call it business. OK. But it’s personal as hell… That’s what makes him great. The Great Don. He takes everything personal. Like God. He knows every feather that falls from the tail of a sparrow or however the hell it goes.”
On Drugs:
"It’s true I have many, many friends in politics, but they would not be so friendly if my business were narcotics instead of gambling. They think gambling is something like liquor, a harmless vice, and they think narcotics is a dirty business. No, don’t protest. I’m telling you their thoughts, not mine. How a man makes his living is not my concern. And what I am telling you is that this business of yours is too risky. All the members of my family have lived well the last ten years, without danger, without harm. I can’t endanger them or their livelihoods out of greed."
On Boldness:
He had asked Hagen one final question. “Does this man have real balls?”…Finally Hagen translated the question properly in his mind. Did Jack Woltz have the balls to risk everything, to run the chance of losing all on a matter of principle, on a matter of honour; for revenge? Hagen smiled. He did it rarely but now he could not resist jesting with the Don. “You’re asking if he is a Sicilian.” The Don nodded his head pleasantly, acknowledging the flattering witticism and its truth. “No,” Hagen said.
On Psychology:
He gave the baker a Di Nobili cigar and a glass of yellow Strega and put his hand on the man’s shoulder to urge him on. That was the mark of the Don’s humanity. He knew from bitter experience what courage it took to ask a favour from a fellow man.
On Generosity:
The Don always taught that when a man was generous, he must show the generosity as personal. How flattering to Anthony Coppola that a man like the Don would borrow to loan him money.
On Respect:
“Tom wasn’t adopted. He just lived with us.” “Oh,” Kay said, then asked curiously, “Why didn’t you adopt him?” Michael laughed. “Because my father said it would be disrespectful for Tom to change his name. Disrespectful to his own parents.”
On Trust:
"I trust these two men with my life. They are my two right arms. I cannot insult them by sending them away."
On Women:
In Hagen’s world, the Corleone’s world, the physical beauty, the sexual power of women, carried not the slightest weight in worldly matters. It was a private affair, except, of course, in matters of marriage and family disgrace.
On Sex:
This was perhaps the real reason the Don was displeased about Freddie. The Don was straitlaced about sex. He would consider such cavorting by his son Freddie, two girls at a time, as degeneracy.
On Anger:
The Don considered a use of threats the most foolish kind of exposure; the unleashing of anger without forethought as the most dangerous indulgence. No one had ever heard the Don utter a naked threat, no one had ever seen him in an uncontrollable rage. It was unthinkable. And so he tried to teach Sonny his own disciplines. He claimed that there was no greater natural advantage in life than having an enemy overestimate your faults, unless it was to have a friend underestimate your virtues.
On Failure:
Nobody made the mistake of assuming that Don Corleone could be held cheaply because of his past misfortunes. He was a man who had made only a few mistakes in his career and had learned from every one of them.
On Punctuality:
Don Corleone, in a sense the host since he had initiated the peace talks, had been the first to arrive; one of his many virtues was punctuality.
On Willpower:
All of these men [US Dons] were good listeners, patient men. They had one other thing in common. They were those rarities, men who had refused to accept the rule of organized society, men who refused the dominion of other men. There was no force, no mortal man who could bend them to their will unless they wished it. They were men who guarded their free will with wiles and murder. Their wills could be subverted only by death. Or the utmost reasonableness.
On Prudence:
"I’m not preparing anything. I’m being prudent, I’ve always been a prudent man, there is nothing I find so little to my taste as carelessness in life. Women and children can afford to be careless, men cannot." [1]
On Persistence:
Michael Corleone was very careful, this was after all a man of respect. “Don Tommasino, you know my father. He’s a man who goes deaf when somebody says the word no to him. And he doesn’t get his hearing back until they answer him with a yes. Well, he has heard my no many times. I understand about the two guards, I don’t want to cause you trouble, they can come with me Sunday, but if I want to marry I’ll marry. Surely if I don’t permit my own father to interfere with my personal life it would be an insult to him to allow you to do so.”
On Negotiating:
The abuse itself bothered him not at all. Hagen had learned the art of negotiation from the Don himself. “Never get angry,” the Don had instructed. “Never make a threat. Reason with people.” The word “reason” sounded so much better in Italian, ragione, to rejoin. The art of this was to ignore all insults, all threats; to turn the other cheek.
On Revenge:
“Revenge is a dish that tastes best when it is cold,” he said. “I would not have made that peace but that I knew you would never come home alive otherwise.”
On Power:
“It looks bad. But my father was the only one who understood that political connections and power are worth ten regimes.” [2]
On Life & Death:
And his father dying had said, “Life is so beautiful.” Michael could never remember his father ever having uttered a word about death, as if the Don respected death too much to philosophize about it… Yet, he thought, if I can die saying, “Life is so beautiful,” then nothing else is important. If I can believe in myself that much, nothing else matters. He would follow his father. He would care for his children, his family, his world.
On Entrepreneurship:
“The trouble is all that damn trash in the movies and the newspapers,” Michael said. “You’ve got the wrong idea, of my father and the Corleone Family. I’ll make a final explanation and this one will be really final. My father is a businessman trying to provide for his wife and children and those friends he might need someday in a day of trouble. He doesn’t accept the rules of the society we live in because those rules would have condemned him to a life not suitable to a man like himself, a man of extraordinary force and character. What you have to understand is that he considers himself the equal of all those great men like Presidents and Prime Ministers and Supreme Court Justices and Governors of the States. He refuses to live by the rules set up by others, rules which condemn him to a defeated life. But his ultimate aim is to enter that society with a certain power since society doesn’t really protect its members who do not have their own individual power. In the meantime he operates on a code of ethics he considers far superior to the legal structures of society.”
The Godfather, although fictional and dealing with problems natural to the world of crime, still largely applies to the lives we live. I do not condone murder, but the other aspects of Don Vito Corleone’s character are respectable and are of need in a world devoid of a sense of honour and responsibility.
Prepare yourself for the real world by listening to the Don.
Notes:
1. I do agree that the thought of carelessness in men does produce the foulest of tastes, by disabling a man’s ability to provide, protect, and procreate. However, women also must be prudent, and if not toward work, then definitely toward the successful growth of their family. They share in the responsibility of not being careless as they stand side by side with men in the difficult path of maintaining a healthy family. The consequences for carelessness in both genders manifest in different ways, as past roles have been so ingrained through evolution and tradition. If one is to ignore these differences they would only accomplish the act of deluding themselves, and falling into future traps.
2. A regime is a section of a mafia family that is run by a caporegime who reports to the underboss, who reports to the Don. A regime consists of soldiers that make the decisions sent from higher up happen on the ground. The mafia is essentially structured like an army.
3. Read more about other quotes & books here:
Measure Twice, Cut Once
Half way through another night’s run I entered into the open and…
Christ in the House of His Parents (1849-50) by John Everett Millais (1829-1896)
Half way through another night’s run I entered into the open and saw someone in the distance walking toward me. Along with the cars passing by, I used that as motivation to keep moving. The space was continually closing between us, but I still didn’t have a good mark on who it was. Sure enough, the moment we were a foot’s distance of each other he raised his head – his face illuminated by the phone in his hands. We recognized each other, high school friends turned acquaintances. Each moving in opposite directions, not wanting to stop, we were pushed on by our own inertias. Although I began to slow down and look back, it wasn’t reciprocated; it took the span of a second for me to realize to keep moving - in the run and in life. I had contacted the same individual a couple weeks back, to catch up – to talk business, but to no avail. In retrospect I’m happy the proposition didn’t materialize, I hadn’t thought it over. I was moving off of emotion instead of strategy. Don’t waste your time with people that don’t respect your time, your company, and your contribution.
“Always appoint an hour at which you’ll see a man, and if he’s late a minute don’t bother with him. A fellow who can be late when his own interests are at stake is pretty sure to be when yours are.[1]”
Aim for a push-pull dynamic that motivates and moves each party forward, instead of one that simulates crabs in a bucket. Accomplish this by surrounding yourself with three equal parts of:
1. People that truly listen and that you can therefore mentor (usually younger).
2. Peers that understand the adversity you have to face because they’re in the trenches with you facing similar battles (usually within your age range).
3. Individuals with more experience than you that you can learn from (usually older).[2]
Split your time equally each day between the three levels and your personal growth will increase substantially - by way of helping, maintaining camaraderie, and by continually learning. Measure your social circle, and see how it influences your growth. Measure it again, and observe how that growth contributes to your happiness. Finally, cut out the social form you desire.[3] Iron sharpens iron; you and your friends sharpen each other. Don’t be afraid to cut out the cancer in your social life before it spreads to your thoughts, your actions, and the consequent habits that shape your life.
Notes:
1. I admit that I tend to be late, not by a large margin but it’s still a problem – I’m consistently trying to better myself in that arena. Arriving late, no matter how late, is an indicator of other problems in your life. Finding out those sources is the first step toward curing chronic lateness. I found out about Graham though this Ryan Holiday post.
2. Keep in mind that you can learn from anyone, age doesn’t hold that restriction over you. Lincoln said that he learned from everyone he met. Michael Jordan had the humility to listen to anyone that could advise him to his game. It’s in discerning what knowledge you should keep in mind that’s the important part of the conversation, not their position in relation to you.
3. I don’t mean to take the humanity out of friendship and the process that goes into creating a fruitful one. Such a creation cannot be calculated and pieced backed together like a science experiment. But by knowing what each person wants out of the relationship, and helping each other develop those goals represents a progressive change that lets us experience the better half of humanity.
Deactivated & Deleted: Rewiring Your Brain
When you surround yourself with an excessive amount of social media…
When you surround yourself with an excessive amount of social media you begin to lose hold of your reality and liberty. This loss is most evident when using Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, whose initial purposes have now degraded into inefficient ones. The overflow of media leads one’s psyche onto unfavourable paths. It’s supposed use of connecting individuals is now of lesser importance in a world of higher opportunity for connectivity. The entry point for its profitability is at its highest and rising due to a growing population. At all angles in this day and age conventional social media outlets leave most at a loss, instead of contributing to their rise.
Control
Social media directly affects your behaviour, which consequently changes your development. The day after I had deactivated Facebook, I had opened its login page as part of my morning ritual – breakfast, coffee, Facebook, in that order. Realizing that the latter didn’t materialize I knew that I had made the right choice the other day.[1] Facebook had become a habit, almost a reflex – except for the fact that it wasn’t serving any higher purpose. Subconsciously it was dictating my actions. How many times have you caught yourself doing something just to post it on social media? Or asked yourself how many hits am I going to get from posting this or that? You’re not alone; I’m as guilty of it as you are. The primitive side of our brain sets these patterns in motion – it feeds on instant gratification. Nature already made social media successful; all it needed was people to set up the structure. It’s the same reason fast food restaurants are most profitable.[2]
“Life, as we find it, is too hard for us; it brings us too many pains, disappointments and impossible tasks. In order to bear it we cannot dispense with palliative measures... There are perhaps three such measures: powerful deflections, which cause us to make light of our misery; substitutive satisfactions, which diminish it; and intoxicating substances, which make us insensible to it.”
I decided that it was time to rewire my brain. The next time I travel, or undertake any endeavour, I don’t want to record my journey for the sake of attention. That will only delude me to the life I am honestly living. I want those experiences to be shared with those close to me, with my kids in the future, to be able to look back at life with nostalgia, not primarily for a like.
Connection
You don’t need Facebook, or the other aforementioned means, to connect to those that are genuinely close to you. That’s not a selling point anymore. How many people on your timeline do you sincerely care about? That you would unconditionally help without the slightest hesitation and know that they would do the same for you. If someone wants to connect with you and appreciates your time, they will. You’ll do the same. It’s not necessary for social media to be the middleman in that encounter. It’s safe to say now that almost everyone has a cell phone in North America. Call a friend, set something up, have fun – don’t substitute that with social media for too long.
The average (mean) amount of friends for adults on Facebook is 338. Robin Dunbar, a British anthropologist, suggested that there is a cognitive limit to the amount of people we can maintain stable social relationships with. Called Dunbar’s number, this limit is in-between 100 and 250, with most people being able to comfortably juggle 150. Social media is not going to increase that limit; it’s ingrained in our minds from tribal times. It’ll let you know who’s who, but without the detailed why, when, and where what’s the point?
Productivity
Unless you have switched to producing more than you consume, social media is a waste of time.[3] Don’t you just love the paradox… don’t use it if you don’t produce, but then if everyone did that you would have no one to sell too. The thing is you would, as Freud mentioned people need to distract themselves – everyone won’t stop, in fact few will. I admit that Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc., are all effective tools when used in a marketing plan, but without a product or service what are you selling? Nothing! You’re bringing nothing to the table. Of course we’re always selling ourselves, in different situations and to different extents, but at what profit? When does it become profitable to do so? Probably once we have the ability to garner interest. Until then, like many others, I’m still a student trying to hustle my way into a dream. But Alex, you have a website and an opinion (like every other asshole) you can advertise through social media, spread the word! You see, this thought hits the wall of my previous point – if people really want to know they’ll find out, if they’re interested they’ll search. I’m not in the business of wasting your time. This will push me to continually create better content. I see my productivity increasing from this detox, there’s less of a chance to escape to a place of instant gratification, and by the end of the day I’m happier because of it. Once I reach a certain level of interest, there may be a use in returning – once the profits outweigh the time.[4] Call me a hard core capitalist but I believe in results – we live in a high time of meritocracy. You don’t want to be wasting your own time. In the greater picture how is Facebook bringing you closer to a life you want, to your end goal? Many times it makes you regress, increasing the cognitive dissonance you hold in relation to the life your living. I still see LinkedIn’s use and it’s the only medium I have decided to keep. It produces posts that have added to my opportunities and let me learn. It lets me connect to individuals and groups that are ambitious to move forward and are passionate about what they’re doing. That’s who I want to surround myself with. It’s about working toward the life you want.
Blackout
When you start to delude yourself about reality, your liberty becomes downtrodden. Social media’s use, in large part, is now limited to pulling the wool over your eyes. Wool that you were persuaded to pull over yourself. Social media dictates your actions. It distracts you from making meaningful connections. Eventually it produces a surplus of wasted time. Conventional social media sites, like Facebook, when used in excess, lead you to lose hold over your reality and liberty. I had come to understand Palahniuk and his popularized thought from Fight Club; "the things you own end up owning you". Sooner or later reality will hit you, and it will strike hardest when your liberty has severely weakened with time, when you no longer have the time to do what you have always wanted to do.
Notes:
1. I’m a cold turkey type of guy; I’ve come to a point where it’s easier to stop than moderate certain social media. It’s like an addict keeping cocaine in the drawer for later, later becomes now.
2. Fast food restaurants work off of our innate need for sugar, salt and fat by supersizing those factors. Social media works off of our need for acceptance, attention and gratification by letting us go at it.
3. I don’t mean this on the primitive level of eating and drinking, but of producing and consuming work. If you wish to make movies do you spend more time on the craft or more time in theatres near you?
4. I don’t necessarily mean profits in the scope of wealth, at some point it could be used to better other aspects of my life (i.e. health, love, and happiness).
Moments Pt. 2
A click went off and my mind switched lanes…
A click went off and my mind switched lanes. I got out of the house late last night and started running, for the first time in years, and the next thing I know I’m a mile in. What caused the click? A need for change. I was tired of going through the motions. Tired of rationalizing failure. The game knows when you’ve put in the work, if you’ve exerted all your effort. It’s merciless but ultimately fair.
Martial Matters
With your back against the wall…
By Steve Huston
“Quintus: People should know when they’re conquered.
Maximus: Would you Quintus... would I?”
With your back against the wall rationality flies out the window along with your ability to take flight as well. Your only choice is to fight, or face death on your knees. Boxing will teach you how to fight your worst enemy – yourself.
“Wild beasts, when at bay, fight desperately. How much more is this true of men! If they know there is no alternative they will fight to the death.”
It is believed that the most peaceful time for man, woman, and child is the present, since we began to walk this earth. You might ask then, what’s the relevance of threatening situations driving me to such desperation? This is where our problems stem from. The problem we create for ourselves, is giving into the illusion that we are safe. Thinking we are safe we trade the potential of freedom for the ease and comfort of security. [1] In an age of opportunity we must wage war with comfort and the apathy it carries with it. [2] This will be our training. Violence has decreased but our need to channel it has not. Taking advantage of our primal nature and the war in our minds, we’ll be able to capitalize on our opportunities as they arrive. I have come closer to such a realization through boxing.
Martial business still matters in this day and age and my goal will be to help you understand it’s ability to increase your potential in the physical, mental, professional, and spiritual realms of your life.
Physical
We are bound to our body in this life, and with it we must make the best of what we are dealt. When our health fails us, nothing else seems to matter except our own survival… everything falls to the sidelines. Boxing will significantly decrease this marginalization, by increasing and maintaining your physical health.
Of course I have to point out the elephant in the room. How is getting shots to your face good for your overall health? In truth it isn’t, in fact it has been extensively documented with research, and through observing professional fighters, that it is dangerous. However, if one goes about the sport intelligently, then I promise you that you will have your intelligence in tact afterwards. If you don’t want to be a pro or even take a swing at the amateurs [3], and are only pursuing it as a hobby, follow these steps:
1. Use your body (shadow box, bodyweight exercises, etc.).
2. Train with equipment (punching bags, jumping rope, etc.).
3. If you do decide to spar, only spar to the body and with people you trust. [4]
All these steps can be accomplished on your own time, or through a gym that caters to your needs. Stay within these rules and your head will stay screwed on correctly.
If you are bored with having to run, bike, swim, etc. to maintain your health, boxing is a great alternative. It enables you to interact and grow with other people while reaping similar benefits.
Professional boxing matches typically have 3-minute rounds with a minute break in between rounds for a total of 12 rounds. Coaches like to have their students train under similar time constraints while sparring and using equipment. The break in between rounds creates an interval-based approach to your training, which is fantastic for building cardiovascular fitness and in turn cardiovascular health.
The same intervals provide a ready start for you to lose weight, maintain it, and even put on muscle mass, if supplemented with the correct diet.
Finally, boxing can reduce the risk of bone loss and consequently osteoporosis. Up to 90% of our bone mass peaks around the age of 20 and then begins to slowly fall after the age of 30 (decrease in bone mass occurs significantly quicker in women). Since boxing is a load bearing exercise it reduces bone loss and may even increase bone mass.
By creating a regular boxing routine for yourself, you may keep your health in check and worries about it at a distance. Remember that it is easier to continually put in work than to jump into a boxing class after a significant break from the gym. Because the first day you come back you’ll feel like you’re putting in all that lost time into one session – it will be an exhausting experience. The fact that you returned already says a lot, you had the tenacity to rise to the challenge again and face your fears.
The head boxing coach at the gym I train at had this to say after some sparring rounds:
“You guys are freezing up… you’re just standing there and taking shots, waiting for your turn. You have to keep moving, block shots, shoot back, and take what’s yours. Do you guys have girlfriends? Classes? Jobs? What would happen if you froze up and didn’t deliver on those responsibilities? We both know what would happen… you’d lose them and the opportunity. The same goes for boxing…. you can’t wait. You have to overcome your mental pain, and keep moving forward. It’s not your bodies failing to keep up; it’s you giving up through your mind…”
Mental
Our minds can be our greatest allies and our worst enemies, as evidenced by our biggest successes and lowest moments. [5] Boxing will pull you toward the former and beyond as well as help you gracefully move past the latter and let you learn from the mistakes that you made.
“The one hour you put in is not about anyone else, it’s the day you take care of yourself... the phone doesn’t exist, it’s just you, the universe, and your fucking thoughts.”
Personally, the greatest gift boxing presents me with is clarity of mind, and the release of anxiety that always follows that clarity. When I box my mind is liberated from the past, liberated from the future, it's completely focused on the present and the task at hand, which is usually making sure not to get knocked over onto my ass. I seem to have come to this conclusion during a conversation with my father over dinner. My dad asked me if I feel fear, if I'm scared when I box. I answered:
“I feel fear every time I’m getting ready to box, every time I step into the gym to box, and with some people more than others. The fear is good; it lets me face my fears physically. In life, fear manifests in various ways and many times we aren’t able to define these fears, grasp onto them… it’s harder to face them. The fear you feel when you box is nothing compared to the fear we feel in our daily lives. Boxing enables me to release the anxiety associated with that fear. Afterwards it helps me confront masked fears more easily.”
In addition to freeing you from everyday anxieties, boxing can aid you stave off depression, keep anger and other emotions in check, as well as gather a scattered mind – most notably one affected by ADHD.
If your routine does come out of place then the fear you feel will rise and may even grow to such a height as to dwarf the fear you felt when you first started. I cannot clearly distinguish the reason for this. It may be because you’re embarrassed for not coming in for a long time, fear for the fact that your skills have probably diminished and you don’t want to witness that, or may be because of the fear that is ingrained in all our psyches – that of getting hurt. In all actuality the fear you feel most likely stems from a combination of all these factors. It is normal to be fearful to the point of excessive anxiety and faulty rationalization but you must conquer those thoughts that fear creates and face the challenge wholeheartedly.
Interestingly enough you will witness yourself grow the fastest when you face that which you fear the most – you quickly become confident in facing all aspects of your life, not just the ones that give you nightmares. Because when you face the possibility of death, everything else seems harmless… what’s the worst that can happen to you? You don’t believe me? Study 50 [6] (and the law he mastered). Always remember that your fear will dissipate once you step in the gym. It will be completely gone once you leave.
“Most guys are at fight club because of something they’re too scared to fight. After a few fights, you’re afraid a lot less.”
Professional
As individuals we all eventually reach plateaus in our professional lives, non-dependent of the paths we chose for ourselves. The only way to keep growing will be to exert supreme focus on the tasks at hand and diversify our knowledge of the world. [7] Boxing will enable you to kill these two birds with one stone and keep your development steady.
Look at any sport, and you will frequently find the most humble and confident players to be fighters, especially those involved in mixed martial arts. They know that they could get hurt at any time, and that they are not invulnerable to loss. Knowing this, they undergo the most exhausting training regimens in order to be confident before a fight – they know that their health and lives are at risk. This combination of variables enables them to stay focused and be open to new experiences and knowledge that may give them the upper hand. This combination would skyrocket anyone to success if applied correctly. This is what boxing has the potential to bestow upon you if you put in the time and keep the right mindset.
“2/3’s of all Fortune 500 CEO’s have one thing in common… military background… 2/3’s of those 2/3’s [40%], have something else that you can probably relate to, martial arts…”
You might be wondering why such a coincidence exists. The reason why is that it’s not a coincidence. Either those same CEO’s garnered the discipline and focus needed to become leaders through the military and/or martial arts, or their characters on principle attracted them to these institutions after their successes. I’m willing to bet that it’s the former, and you better hope it is, because then there is hope for all of us. Mr. Peña mentioned another benefit he received from the military (OCS officer training):
“It was the first high-performance thing that I could measure myself with, with other people… that were also striving to be high performance individuals.”
Boxing will give you this same opportunity. You will see yourself build a skill over time, have the ability to track your progress, and gain constructive criticism from ambitious people that train with you. And since you are the average of the 5 people you surround yourself with, connecting with these same individuals may be an asset in your professional life, as well as theirs.
“The last jab has to be the hardest punch… you’re finishing the job with it.”
An excellent boxer persists and doesn't lose focus. The same goes for the professional... you must always be closing. [8]
Spiritual
Having a belief in something is important for us as humans. Whether it is religion, atheism, or a political stance, guiding principles laden in these beliefs take us a long way by keeping our minds at peace, giving us a code to live by and goals to direct ourselves toward. Other martial arts (i.e. Jiu-Jitsu) may have a greater emphasis on philosophy but boxing can also lead us to the same understandings. By undertaking the art of boxing you can follow the principles that you learn in your sessions and apply them on a daily basis – no matter what business you have to attend to, big or small.
The biggest lesson I took from my boxing experience thus far and my research into martial arts is this; stay in possession of a strong will and emotion that will face any challenge it is presented with in this life, even at the expense of its loss. [9] Keeping this in mind helps me ward off fear and the excuses it produces. Like many pieces of wisdom it is obvious, but difficult to put into action day in and day out. Take this principle with you and every time you do something, no matter how inconsequential you think the action is, ask yourself if it’s the right thing to do. How is it going to advance your goals and how is it going to help those around you? Now “the right thing to do” will be guided by your morality and that is yours to manage.
“The model for the application of your principles is the boxer rather than the gladiator. The gladiator puts down or takes up the sword he uses, but the boxer always has his hands and needs only to clench them into fists.”
“You guys are punching in blocks, in patches. When you’re throwing your punches they have to flow out of you with no stops. You’re an artist and you’re painting a whole picture, not just bits and pieces of your masterpiece.”
In that sense the war doesn’t stop, every day is a new battle and you already have everything you need to face it – you’re human and therefore adaptable. [10]
I will leave you with a warning before I sign off. Once you embark on learning the art of boxing, or any martial art for that matter, it will become an addiction. You will begin to realize what you have been missing all this time and how much it helps. Knowing this, it will be hard to function without a regular hit of it. You won’t be yourself. It’ll already be in your bloodstream. So do you want the easy way out? Look around you and take your pick... sex, drugs, food, gambling, whatever suits your nature. If you decide to take the red pill, it will be a continual battle between your will to need for it and your own inner resistance. No matter what you choose, deep down inside you’ll know if you slipped up, because by then you won’t be ignorant of the consequences of your actions. Take the blue pill and such battles won’t intrude into your mind.
Bob & Weave
“You see a guy come to fight club for the first time, and his ass is a loaf of white bread. You see the same guy here six months later , and he looks carved out of wood. This guy trusts himself to handle anything. There’s grunting and noise at fight club like at the gym, but the fight club isn’t about looking good... and when you wake up Sunday afternoon you feel saved.”
These are the things I learned in a few short months while boxing. For your sake you don’t have to take boxing, most other martial arts will bring you the same high. The feeling you’ll get walking out of the gym exhausted is unbelievable. The only way I can think of explaining it is a feeling of total peace, like you know exactly where you’ve been and where your heading.
You need to be there to believe me, to lose yourself. Boxing will break you down. Maybe self-destruction is the answer. So that you may rise again, stronger than you were yesterday.
Notes:
1. “People willing to trade their freedom for temporary security deserve neither and will lose both.” – Benjamin Franklin (more on Franklin here and here)
2. In 2014 it seems that the opposite of courage is not outright cowardliness but the slipping into comfort and comfort zones. Or is that just a symptom of a coward? What is a coward? Something to think about.
3. Pun intended.
4. Boxing gloves are not designed to protect the head of your partner but to protect your hands. In fact padded gloves enable fighters to fight longer by safeguarding their hands from injuries and therefore letting them do more damage to each other.
5. On the other hand our minds have the ability to turn on us after our biggest successes (and they do so as frequently as they can), making us arrogant, lazy, complacent, and unoriginal.
6. I’m reading it a second time because it was that good.
7. Read “Mastery” by Robert Greene to understand how to overcome these plateaus more easily.
8. That's reality for you, and if you want to understand it better read this article.
9. This principle connects to stoicism and a slice of Japanese philosophy (namely Yamato-damashii). A great place to start learning about stoicism is by reading “Meditations” by Marcus Aurelius.
10. “According to Darwin’s Origin of Species, it is not the most intellectual of the species that survives; it is not the strongest that survives; but the species that survives is the one that is able best to adapt and adjust to the changing environment in which it finds itself.” - Leon C. Megginson (Yes, Darwin did not say that himself, he is often misquoted with this famous line.).
Purpose 2.0
Once you start to receive the same advice from…
Revision
Once you start to receive the same advice from numerous notable sources, those that you can first and foremost trust, you begin to realize that the advice rings true for you. The advice I received over time stems from an essay by Ryan Holiday, an excerpt from George Orwell, a piece by Paul Graham and an individual I know on a more personal level.
It all comes down to wanting to write about something that interests you, something that you can’t wait to get across to others, an idea that stays in the back of your mind and begs you to put pen to notebook, scraps of paper, napkin, anything – so that someone else may see it and share in the idea. Powerful beyond measure, ideas take a firm hold in our minds and drive our actions, our futures.
Orwell describes how and why sheer egoism, aesthetic enthusiasm, historical impulse, and political purpose are the main factors that drive someone to write. He finds that the factors are found in varying ratios in these same writers, depending on who they are in the moment. More on his own work can be found in “Why I Write”, providing you with information that can help you understand other writers and their motivations. It’s a book that I still have to find time to finish as well.
Piggybacking
I still want to gather my own thoughts into something coherent, to learn and grow from writing. I’m beginning to realize that these are secondary goals that will follow my main impulse of getting my realizations and interests out. As for my media portfolio, it can now be found on Flickr![1]
Akin
Psychology is still a passion of mine and will continue to colour my essays (keep this in mind as I move along). The human mind is one of the most complex mechanisms known to us and we won’t have a surplus of its understanding in the near future. It's the reason Dostoevsky’s quote is found on my About page. It’s an interest I share and view as something worthy of understanding, worthy of contributing too.
In any case, writing should only be undertaken if what is being written about touches the person communicating the idea at the deepest level. This mental filter will produce the best art from that individual.
You will know the feeling when it comes over you. Have faith in the process and it will arrive.
A Hip Hop Education
Music has always been a part of my life…
Knowledge Reigns Supreme Over Nearly Everyone (KRS-One)
Influenced
Music has always been a part of my life, whether I heard it during family functions, on the radio travelling between destinations, at the movies, theater, you name it. I was only really partaking in it passively when I was younger, but still gaining an appreciation for it in the process. If I was lucky enough I'd hear something that would hold my attention. Russian music played a big part in my life while I was growing up, and it would find me again later. Afterwords I'd feel a different way about it, I would feel the same type of inspiration that older folks also felt when the same music first came out. In the mean time another source was to have my ear.
Around the age of ten something grabbed my attention with more passion than anything else I’ve heard before. My first encounter with it was probably due to my sister introducing it to me. I started to hear beats blasting out of her room, and was soon putting on headphones trying to listen more closely, attempting to decipher the lessons embedded in between the lines of rhymes. I had inevitably heard music before that moment, but my voluntary entrée into that world had begun with a Hip Hop education.
Class In Session
Looking back it seemed to be the only logical choice; other situations in my life led me to its discovery at a perfect time. If I had lived in a different circumstance at that moment I would of probably had contrasting inclinations. Thanks to the persistence that continues to define my mother, I had developed an addiction to reading and the insights it brought me at a young age. The reality of nonfiction pulled my interest to a greater extent, toward various illustrious histories and biographies. This addiction translated nicely to the detailed pictures rappers painted of themselves and the environments they represented, and that were eventually going to represent them. Stories that were packaged into songs like Nas’s I Gave You Power and Tupac’s Brenda’s Got A Baby, to name a few, made an impression on me by teaching me lessons not to be found in the classroom. Unfortunately such lessons were easy to overlook for many because they were glazed over with the label of rap and Hip Hop.
You can’t enroll into a subject like Hip Hop with preconceived notions and beliefs of it, without damaging your ability to learn all that you may from it. An ego attached to such investigation will only affirm your beliefs and not enable you to grow from the experience. It annoyed me to hear adults try to explain to me that Hip Hop was just a fad and that I would soon stop listening to it, once I “matured.” They didn’t realize that there was more to be found past the beats.
The genius of the story approach within Hip Hop, and in general, is that it doesn’t leave pause for argumentation; it presents you situations that characters experienced, and will continue to experience, on different occasions. This then creates a vivid message that resonates more strongly with the audience than simply explaining the point would achieve. You may then accept the fact that such happenings may also cross your path and to those you care for, or take for granted the knowledge (in this case ignorance may truly be bliss) imparted upon you. This better understanding of the external world, through the music, eventually builds upon your own knowledge of self, your internal understanding of you and your motivations, ultimately creating an opportunity for you to gain acceptance of yourself and contributing to your confidence.
The music catered to my introverted nature, making me naturally drift to introspective artists that delved into their psyches and situations that defined the course of their lives. A prime example of this being Biggie’s reflection in Suicidal Thoughts (Puff might have not been the best person to call). These inward retreats into oneself created a niche in Hip Hop that continues to represent something more profound, drawing parallels with Freud’s talk therapy, except with oneself and his/her audience instead of a therapist.
I was starting to expand my Hip Hop knowledge, and although the Shady wave hit me first I quickly started looking into other styles. I had arrived late to class, being a 90’s baby, but I quickly began to catch up with the homework.
Potential
For all the vanity and flaunting Hip Hop seems to represent, there is a deeper end in the pool that continues to define a brighter future. When Eminem says “you can do anything you set your mind to man” at the end of Lose Yourself it feels like he’s right there, speaking those words to you, building on the impact the rest of the song has already had on you up to that point. He’s not simply stating that you can do anything in life; he’s reminding you that you can do anything you’re PASSIONATE about; anything your mind is set on. Emcees have constantly been inspiring the generation that was entranced by them. The need to boast about one’s success through music may just be the displacement of insecurities and insurmountable feelings of dependence surfacing from impoverished and harsh backgrounds (“I wasn’t poor, I was po’ – I couldn’t afford the ‘o-r’” – Big L on Lifestylez Ov Da Poor and Dangerous). Expressing the opposite end of the spectrum masked this previous pain, which continued to endure in rappers minds. This same pain probably created the crucible necessary for them to become the hard working individuals they are today. Most would have cracked from the pressure, and given up on the endeavour altogether.
I’m content with the state of Hip Hop at this time, as it is beginning to represent its purpose more strongly, thanks to a combination of new up & coming artists and new content from household names. It is taking advantage of its potential to help communities all over the world and specifically in North America, by communicating a mastered message to the opportunity of an audience. Like DMX points out “It doesn’t have to be the way it is, you say it is, just because for the past twenty years, everyday it is.”
100
Nowadays Hip Hop beefs consist of insults thrown over Twitter but it used to be considered a precursor to more dangerous situations, with artists getting robbed of their chains and sometimes even their lives. Luckily the violence was able to die down and the competitiveness could still be filtered out. Tracks that needed to be created to respond to an artist calling you out raised the stakes and along with it the art form. An arms race emerged, with artists rushing to prove their own worth and ability within the craft. These weren’t singular events, with some riding off of each other. Many remember the more entrenching east vs. west coast feud, where whole regions of the country banded together to unleash lyrical warfare on each other, but capping one another went back even further, and continues to this day.
In Hip Hop it’s understood that if you don’t think you’re the best, then you either still got work to do or you’re in the wrong business. Don’t get me wrong; many of these artists are still able to stay humble throughout their rise. I think this mentality should apply to all business. Why should you be doing what you do if you’re not giving it your all? In essence you’re creating an inferior product and letting others down. Step up your game or switch to something that speaks more to your heart. Don’t waste people’s time. As Jay Z noted “I rather die enormous, than live dormant.”
This same competitive nature motivated me to pursue my own path and follow that which I believe would leave me happiest and most fulfilled. “I won’t let the seedy city defeat me, rub me out like genies, won’t concede till I’m graffiti” in Lupe Fiasco’s sense on The Emperor’s Soundtrack. Listening to the music kept my mind focused on what I needed to do to achieve the higher heights of my own actualization.
Philosophy
“Rap is something you do, Hip Hop is something you live.”
Hip Hop is more than a genre, it’s a culture, revolving around four original principles:
Deejaying
Emceeing,
Break Dancing,
Graffiti
Another principle, knowledge, is transmitted through the four previous forms to the public. It’s a way of life, one that cannot be pinned down to one artist or figure. Of course it has evolved, become involved in other fields (i.e. fashion), and has even influenced political movement. Sampling has been its most obvious evolutionary aspect and one that has not only helped greatly lift itself as an art form but as well as all other forms of music. Just give Doug E. Fresh & Slick Rick’s La Di Da Di a listen and think about how many songs you’ve heard that took sounds from this song and created something entirely new and exciting. You can learn more about sampling here.
It lets people believe in something bigger than themselves, take part in it, and in doing so potentially change their lives. It spans all cultures and connects them in ways that haven’t been experienced before. Apart from raising different peoples together, to love one another, Hip Hop may be the tool to do so less invasively. Connecting through the feelings Hip Hop is able to incite develops in us a connection to one another that is impossible to reach through reason. We are still very much primal beings. On the other hand Hip Hop is able to reason where feeling is insufficient to establish peace. The United States is a prime sample of our worldly population that shows this cooperation and growth through Hip Hop. By capitalizing on the melting pot immigration created, Hip Hop takes this diversity and makes it a strength by unifying it.
“You’re living at a time of extremism, a time of revolution, a time when there’s got to be a change. People in power have misused it, and now there has to be a change and a better world has to be built and the only way it’s going to be built is with extreme methods. And I for one will join in with anyone; I don’t care what colour you are, as long as you want to change this miserable condition that exists on this earth.”
Wise words that hold up to this day. Hip Hop doesn’t care for your background; its interest lies in your character. Is Hip Hop the answer to incite this change, and more of it?